FinancesPsychologyRelationship

Disturbing behaviour regarding finances in a relationship

It is not a secret that many couples are experiencing serious issues in their relationships because of money. The pressure coming with an insufficient amount of money or the responsibilities coming with receiving a bank loan can make the life miserable and induce various issues between two people even if initially their union was really harmonious.

Still, there are some serious financial mistakes coming from the side of the partners themselves. In some situations, they can be addressed and in others, partners are not flexible enough and are not ready to do anything about these problems so they can quickly become worse. It is crucial to understand such problems and protect your relationship against them and, if it is not possible, to protect yourself against being in a relationship with such issues.

Financial harassment

One of the most extreme forms of financial disagreements between partners is a financial harassment. This form of harassment is based on manipulation made with the help of money and, as you can imagine, the person who becomes a victim in such a situation is the one who currently does not have one’s own source of income.

Financial harassment can have a variety of forms. In the majority of cases it is used for manipulation and a victim has to beg its abuser for money even when it comes to the necessities. Many abusers also demand reporting all of the expenses. Harassment can go beyond giving money. It can even occur when an abuser is threatening its victim with depriving him or her not only form money but also even from some basic material necessities. Some abusers will also take all of the money of their victims if those happen to get any.

What one should do in such a situation?

Needless to say, such a behaviour from the side of an abuser can be detrimental for the relationship. Certainly, a victim of an abuser can develop metal and physical problems from the mere stress of a complex financial situation while a lot also depends on the exact requirements of the abuser for his or her victim to get money or material necessities.

If you are the victim of such an abuser, you should look for the ways for getting financially independent from your abuser and, consequently to get out of a pathological relationship. It is crucial to understand that this is not what can be called a loving and supporting partnership.

In the case you have noticed you yourself are an abuser, it is great you can actually see the problem. Now, you will be able to address this problem by realising that no conditions give you the right to manipulate and disrespect other people no matter whether you are the only person earning money. If this is too challenging for you to tackle this problem, you can reach out for the help of a psychotherapist.

Egoistic approach

Another disturbing financial behaviour from the side of one of the partners is spending the budget shared with another person according to one’s own plan while another person is trying to save money. For example, partners might be sharing their budget with each other and have common financial goals and rules, so that one partner is making financial choices according to these establishments, however another person is doing whatever he or she wants with the budget.

What can be done is such a situation?

No matter whether you are the person who disrespects the rules set for the budget or you are the person who is saving money so that another one will be able to spend it in any way he or she prefers, the best solution will be trying to separate your budgets. That is of course in the case if you are not the one living according to the rules and you have already found such a behaviour of your partner too disturbing to continue the relationship.